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Thursday, November 3

Faith Filled Marriage: Life Patterns


Regretfully, these words all have their place in our family histories.  Some of these have been experienced in recent generations, and others in generations past.  A few I know all too personally.  

When Jerry and I knew that we desired to be married, we began a lengthy divulgence of privileged information.  Family secrets and issues that have been primarily sealed for the need-to-know basis only, were slowly spilled out in moments of confidence.  It was important to both of us to "put all of our cards on the table."  We have always been honest with each other, sometimes brutally, painfully honest.

We take our oneness seriously.  We have a forever view of marriage.  We are eternally committed to one another.  Our unshakable belief in the authenticity and authority of God's Word is one of the things that attracted us to each other and has been part of the glue that has held us together since the beginning of our relationship.  

We have learned, in our very short time being married, how generational curses or life patterns work and operate against us.  We have seen the chains of bondage choke the life out of loved ones, we have seen others battle the same patterns over and over with no breakthrough, and we have experienced the agony of recognizing the same flaws we've vowed to escape in our own lives.  

In order to become the people God has created us to be, in our marriage and all of our relationships, we need to take an honest look at the spiritual heritage left for us.  We need to recognize the influence of life patterns and generational sins in our family life.  To put it plainly, we need to examine the "why" not just the "what" of the things we do.  It is not enough to recognize our mistakes, flaws, and weaknesses…we need to seek out the root causes.

For me, after years of reflection, I can identify several patterns that have been passed from generation to generation in my family.  One example of this is Alcoholism.  I am not positive how far back it goes, but I can tell you with certainty it has affected multiple generations, and threatened to continue through me.  I will share my personal testimony on this at some point, but for now, I can tell you that I have been called to be a curse-breaker in my family.  I have made the choice not to drink, believing that my faithfulness to abstaining has a direct effect on my children's futures.  

Another recurring life pattern in my family is divorce.  My biological parents have been divorced 3x each.  This is a life pattern I am determined to overcome…its influence has tried to wreak havoc on my marriage many times already.  It is not just the idea of divorce, it is the deeper implications of separation, selfishness, and inability to honor commitment that try to sink their claws into me, especially during moments of weakness or struggle.  I am thankful to God that in those moments, He opens my eyes to see where they are coming from and strengthens my resolve to be fully one with my husband.

These are just a couple of the patterns that God has opened my eyes to.  It is not an easy task to revisit the dark parts of my family history, but it is a necessary endeavor to ensure that Jerry and I leave a legacy of hope, abundance and light to future generations, as well as obtain the abundant life that God desires to give us now, during our short time here on this Earth.  

Facing the truth about our family histories, and bringing the darkness into the light has been one of the most freeing parts of my life so far.  And there is still much to overcome.  Together we are called to be curse-breakers.  Together, we will overcome.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1
Have you taken the time to evaluate destructive life patterns in your family history?

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  1. Just found your blog through TBB and I love it! Thank you for sharing something so personal. Having similar issues in my family's history, I can completely relate.

  2. Listening and loving it right now…thanks for sharing this with me!! Beautiful song, gave me goosebumps. XO

  3. Thank you so much! :) It may not be the easy road, but it is the right one to take!

  4. You should listen to the song "family tree" by Matthew West. It really hits home and so did this post! Thanks Courtney!

  5. Good for you for realizing these things and taking a stand to overcome obstacles. I hope all the best for you guys!

  6. You are absolutely right…I cannot fathom how any couple can remain in a marriage without God at the center.

    Thank you for the blessings, and to you as well. :)

  7. It's not just the stuff you list here: how you spend/save, discipline with the kids, attitudes toward kids' school/homework/extra-curricular activities. No couple can come together in their own strength and expect to finish strong. We become one when we invite God into the center of our family -- to become our glue through grace!

    May your family be blessed as you and your husband remain open and willing to share from your past as you learn in the present how to live for the future! :)


Thank you so much for your lovely comments! I don't always have time to respond to each one, but I do read them! XO