Saturday, January 28

Unscripted: Somethings Got To Give


Something has to give.  Something always has to give.  It seems like just when I get a bit of balance in my life, some major flaw reveals itself and my energy has to be redirected in tackling it.  

Currently, I'm struggling with the reality of my attitude toward money.  I know it may be taboo to speak openly about personal financial struggles, but I'm seriously having issues and I will take any help I can get.  You see, I'm a spender.  

My husband, sincere thanks to God, is the polar opposite of me financially.  He is wise, conservative, and conscious of each and every financial decision he makes and how it will impact us.  

I may as well be declared financially blind.  I have the head knowledge and the smarts to manage money well.  I have tools at my disposal to make it easy and efficient to tend our household budget.  But, I just can't seem to stay within the boundaries we've set.

I'm trying to get to the root of the issue.  Don't get the wrong idea…I'm not going on shopping sprees and running up our credit cards frivolously.  I want more than anything to be debt-free this year.  I just seem to have this attitude about money that lacks proper respect.  

When I think about money, I think of the control it has on our lives.  I hate being controlled…by anything/anyone.  I have this rebellion that stirs in me when living in the confines of a budget or a spending cap and it sees every opportunity to use justification as a way of excusing my choices to overspend the amounts we have agreed upon each month.

This mindset is getting me in big trouble.  Its false.  Complete lies.  I am actually giving money more control by letting it wreak havoc in my life {and marriage} as well as keeping myself in bondage by overspending {each dollar overspent could be another dollar towards financial freedom!}

So what do I do?  I need to carve out the false beliefs I have about money and truly make it work for me.  I need to put more weight on each and every financial decision I make.  I need to get back to what has worked for me, until I break the habits.  So that means, I need to use cash again.

Cash only spending has a huge impact on me.  When I leave my debit card at home, I know that I have no choice but to stay within the boundaries of the cash in my wallet.  I can't be tempted to buy that extra box of hot cocoa when I didn't plan ahead of time for it.  And if that means I get to the checkout of the grocery store with more than I intended, I will have to face the embarrassment of putting something back.  This kind of money management also forces me to make a good meal plan and stick to it, something I've sort of stopped doing over the last couple of months.

I think that another part of my struggle is with just being able to say, "no."  Even if it is just a "no" for now, so that I can say "yes" later.  I've been a "Yes" person most of my life, and this ties right into breaking that habit.  

Money, I'm done giving you the keys to our kingdom.  

7 comments:

  1. You are so not alone with this struggle.
    For nearly a year, I worked a job where I was making a LOT of money. Well, a lot to ME, anyway. I was putting away a lot for savings, donating to charity, paying the bills, etc., and still have money left over for vacations and silly stuff. 
    When I quit that job, it took me months to stop spending money like I was making it. And now I'm starting to really pinch pennies and freak out about my expenses. I don't have a LOT but I miss having money to throw around for fun stuff.
    So now I'm trying to find a balance and it's hard!
    I could have stayed at that job and been sick, unhappy, stressed, and never seeing my family, but with a lot of money. But I quit for my sanity. But now, I just want something to give me a balance. A job I love but doesn't take over my LIFE, and enough money so I don't have to worry.
    Its so hard.
    *sigh*

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  2. I have a friend that I talk about money with a lot. We both are similar in that we go through cycles of being really good financially and paying down debts. Then we get sick of it and start spending too much. I hate to say it, but we just spend what we have. It will take us a while to be debt free- and most of it isn't even credit card debt. We're working on it, but we also want to move and aren't really settled, so we know we will drain our savings and run up expenses to move.

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  3. Oh you nailed it right on the head. Were you writing about me, aside from the fact that my husbnadlikes to spend just as much as I do! I am the one that controls the money in our house. So of course I know how to sneak things in,,,which doesn't help. We have tried the 'jars' method, but seriously who goes to a bank to take out money.we end op revering back to debit cards. I have at least got us off using credit. But hey, when something arises (like a new roof!!!) our line of credit obviously takes the hit. It's a never ending cycle....I feel like I wish someone slapped my hand 10 years ago when I spent everything!!!!Man, that would have come in handy, but unfortunately were paying for it now,, literally !Good luck my friend!!!

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  4. Thank you for your encouragement and sharing your experience. I guess it is like all things in life…hard to find a balance and maintain it.

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  5. :) I am definitely a sneaker. LOL I'm encouraged in knowing I'm not the only one who struggles in this area. I know that I need to change if I want to be free financially and so I have reached a point where I just have to make a change. :) Thank you for sharing with me!

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  6. Girl, I feel like you wrote this for me. The husby and I have the exact same problem - I'm a spender, he is not. Good luck with all of this. I'm working at doing better too!

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  7. :) Thanks lady. And I wish you good luck as well!

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Thank you so much for your lovely comments! I don't always have time to respond to each one, but I do read them! XO