One thing that has been a constant in my life is the soundtrack. For most of my journey so far I've gravitated to music that allows me to release and process my emotions through the words and music others have written. I'll be sharing songs that I have really connected with throughout my struggles and even my joys in life - I will be calling this "Music Therapy."
The first song I'm sharing is one I listen to often. First, I'm a huge fan of Florence + The Machine, and second her lyrics in this particular song really resonate with me.
Though she is talking about a former relationship with a lover - I find myself reflecting on my relationship with denial and how that one particular relationship was like a devil on my back, choking the very life out of me that I was trying to protect. The romance of denial was that it made me feel protected, but in the end I was disillusioned by it and it left me undone. And so now I'm shaking that denial out of my life and on a quest for living in truth.
In the end of the song, she speaks about being ready to suffer and ready to hope - it seems that denial for me prevented both my ability accept the pain and trauma of my past, while at the same time numbing my joy and happiness in the present. I really love this conclusion to the song. And in the end, the reality that she was looking for heaven and as she got closer on that search the light revealed to her the truth of the broken nature of both herself and the lover - or for me - my own deep brokenness and the evil nature of denial.