Correction: Megan's Blog is AbsoluteMommy.blogspot.com, sorry for screwing that up in the video Meg! You can click above to go directly to her link I was referring to.
I forgot to mention a couple of things in my vlog this week, so you can get more below as well as a few links to check out this weekend. If we were sitting down for a cup of coffee right now, here are some of the things I would tell you:
My health is already starting to improve just with a change of diet and elimination of caffeine. That's why I am only drinking caffeine-free herbal tea, or maybe some kombucha or something. BUT there is even more to the story that I forgot to share with you. I realized in the midst of all my crazy physical hardship that I have so much to praise God for during this time. I've always struggled with my body image, but it wasn't until the last couple of months that God really started convicting me about the depth of that.
I realized in some ways I hated my body. And I finally saw it for what it was. In someone who is a survivor of trauma and emotional abuse, body image is one of the things that suffers lasting damage. I simply didn't acknowledge how deeply I had been affected in terms of my relationship toward my body. And I hadn't taken responsibility for the abuse I had suffered by my own negative thoughts, words and hands. The way I've taken care of myself over the years has been a reflection of how I feel about myself deep down inside.
When you don't love your body, you might, on the surface level, do a few things to feel better about yourself - but the motivation to live healthy and fuel your body well rarely sticks around. Its easy to be caught in a vicious cycle that leaves you more frustrated. But when you really love your body and accept it - all on its own, as yours, created by God just for you, then you want to treat it well and that desire comes from a place that cannot be reached by the day-to-day temptations. And that is what I am finding happening now. I am so motivated now because for once in my life I can truly say I love my body. Its not in the best shape, but that is my fault. And I can choose to do something about it. And I am.
Anyway, yeah, I feel pretty pumped with all that is going on. And I know that as my body heals it will be a much more fertile place (baby number 2 please!), and eventually the outside will match the internal shift I've had.
While sipping our tea, I might tell you that:
I've been really focusing a lot more on quality time with Zion lately. I love that she is growing increasingly independent but there have been quite a few times that she has told me she wants to play by herself or she's "doing her own thing" and it give my mamas heart a little ache. I am now seeing that those times I wasted being so busy and working crazy hours on my blog equal time I can never buy back with her. Those times I pushed her to the side so I could finish a sponsored post or do some social media, are times I would buy back right now if I could. So I'm just not doing that anymore. And I'm trying to woo her back to wanting to spend time with me, so she knows how much I love and value her. That she is important to me, far more important than any blog post.
My blog is still important, but things seem to be in the right order now. I work when I can fit it in during a nap or after she goes to bed at night. And so, frequency of posting may have slowed down, but I think quality will improve dramatically as the months go on.
Lastly, I'd make light of all this heavy talk by sharing:
I have 13 mosquito bites! Ouch. I counted them this afternoon and got them all yesterday during a mid-morning hike in Alaska wilderness. I'm pretty itchy all over at the moment. Did you know they say the Mosquito is Alaska's State Bird!? Ha, seriously those vampiric bugs are huge here.
I know I mentioned it in the video and before on the blog, but I'M GOING TO HAWAII!! Prepare to be annoyed as I countdown the days and take endless amounts of pictures on that trip. Hahha.
Here are a few links for you to check out this weekend:
Have you seen any of these "Twerking" videos, warning - not suitable for all audiences, is this really a thing now?
Finding yourself in a writing rut this Summer? Here are 20 Blog Post ideas for Lifestyle blogs.
The nail polish addict in me is loving this watercolor print!
I've got a few more years before I can celebrate 10 years of living in NYC! Love this photo collection of memories of 10 years of Big Apple living!
Have a great weekend lovelies!!