Our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) theme for this year is "A Beautiful Mess." When the theme was first announced, I didn't give it a ton of thought, but something about it appealed to me. For the past several years I've been on this journey of working through past issues and healing from those. It has been incredibly messy.
Something new is happening though as this year moves quickly towards its close. I am starting to see the beauty within the mess that has been my life over these tough couple of years. I've had to process a lot of anger - toward my biological parents, towards God, towards my husband and even towards myself. At times I am sure I have been nearly impossible to live with.
Somehow through it all, I still have a husband who loves me unconditionally, a daughter that tells me how much she needs me and a God who loves me and is not intimidated by my angry and disparaging questions. Somehow through it all, I've come to a place where I have finally begun to love myself and accept myself despite the things that happened to me in my childhood.
Now when I see the theme image for MOPS, I feel a deep sense of connection with it. My story is a beautiful mess. And I'm starting to accept that the messy parts are okay.