Sick Days

Zion picked up a nasty cold virus and has been feeling quite down in the dumps for the past several days. I just want my happy little girl back.  Instead this is what every day has looked like this week:

And Elmo has been her constant companion through it all.  My poor baby, get well soon, please!


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Chronic. Sleep. Deprivation.

I'm staring at this page, willing to write, yet my brain is running on reserve power.  Therefore, I'm throwing in the towel and hoping to resume after a good nights rest.

Here is what we have been up to:

I finished my fall yarn wreath and quite satisfied with the results.  :)

I cut out cardboard letters, Z-I-O-N, to finally make a sign for Zion's door, planning on using yarn for this as well.  I've yet to actually wrap a single letter, or figure out how I want to finish it.

I'm knitting again…and lately wondering if I have post-partum-arthritis, I had no idea that this actually exists, but my joints have not been the same since I had Zion, and I am starting to wonder if I should get them checked out.  (Stay tuned for more on my current knitting projects.)

Baking, baking and more baking.  I just did a dozen or so each: M&M Sugar Cookies & Chocolate Chip Cookies.  Zion is great at stirring, and quite territorial about it as well.  Future baking plans…definitely want to do more cupcakes, for starters these and then definitely these as well!

FAIL notice…remember this post here?  Yeah, well, I totally nailed the starter, but I couldn't find a good/easy enough recipe to start out with…and so, well, the starter went right into the trash.  Boo!

While I'm admitting FAILures, I might as well update you on this journey here.  Yeah, remember that running thing I was talking about?  I haven't. Not even once. Ran. Double boo!

I'm blessed to be working my tail feathers off to coordinate sending Christmas care packages to the MacDella Cooper Foundation Academy in Liberia, Africa…if you are interested in participating…send me an email.  60 boys and girls, orphaned by violent civil war will be receiving backpacks filled with goodies to ring in the holiday.

The winds of change are blowing in our family, if that sounds vague, it is intentional, and you'll have to stay tuned for details.  Don't you love cliffhangers?

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Faith Filled Marriage: Never Stop Dating Your Spouse

Inertia:  {A tendency to do nothing or remain unchanged.  Idleness.  A rut.}  This is where the hubs and I found ourselves after several dateless months.  We got used to not having time together as a couple, and struggled to break out of it, it became the norm.

Sure, we could make excuses to justify letting our relationship slip low on the priority list, and we certainly have.  Dates = costly, especially when you have to pay $15/hr for someone to sit on your couch while your little one sleeps.  And being away from family who'd gladly hang at your place for free…thats another big bummer.



But I don't want to focus on our excuses, I want to focus on what can be learned from our mistake of giving up on date-nights.  On September 30th, we went on our first date in probably over six months.  Our besties here in NYC offered to chill at our place and told us to "stay out late!"

Hubs planned a surprise dinner date at HK:Hell's Kitchen, near Times Square.  We arrived early to the area, so we enjoyed sipping some coffees and lollygagging to the restaurant.  Once there, we chose an outside table so we could people watch.  I enjoyed a virgin mojito and some of the best calamari I've ever had, before we were forced to move inside due to unexpected rain.

Our dinner was good, but the best thing about the evening was really enjoying the company of my husband.  For once I was not just Jerry's wife or Zion's mama, I was Courtney, again.  I was the woman Jerry fell in love with.  And I was able to appreciate Jerry as the one I gave my heart to, not just as the provider, or the father of my child.

We broke out of our inertia, forcing ourselves to stop making excuses and do the dang thing!  And I learned a valuable lesson…you should never ever ever, for any reason, stop dating your spouse.  That time spent, out of the house, with the focus of delighting in each other's company, can not be recreated through any other activity.

When you can't get out, I'm definitely a fan of throwing "Date-Night-in" where we make a romantic dinner, put on some smooth jazz, and detach from cell phones, hulu and other distractions - but I think getting out at least once a month is so very necessary.

I can hardly wait for our next date-night this Friday evening.  When was the last time you and your spouse got out of the house for a date night?  What is your favorite date night activity?

I'd love some ideas!!

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Deep Breath In, Deep Breath Out

What a day I've just had!  Seriously, today was full of challenges, crazy temptations, and emotions.  Before I plunge you into the madness, let me just say that, I have really changed.  Not like, "Oh you hit your 30's"maturity boom, but more, "Wow, God is really changing me from the inside out" kind of change.

I've always been sort of a "hard" person - extremely tough on the outside, stoic, unshakable even.  Not. Any. More.  Lately, I have been repeatedly blindsided by my emotions, the outward display of them as well as the intensity.  I'm not on any hormones.  I am not a wimp.  I am just easily moved to deep feelings over things that I used to appear numb to.

Don't get me wrong...this post is not a complaint at all, more of a revelation or an "ah-ha."  I used to think that my inability to display emotion was a permanent part of my personality, but I've come to realize, over a lot of grueling soul searching over the last decade, that it was actually a self-defense measure I acquired in childhood.  I am realizing how it made me seem phony, and callus to many people who I genuinely care about and longed to connect with.  I fear I may have even lost out on friendships because people took my lack of emotion as indifference or contempt.  Brutal introspect aside, and as uncomfortable as my newly flowing emotions are making me, there is so much joy in knowing that the huge wall that kept me so reserved, is now down.  I feel, ALIVE!

I am vulnerable and it feels great.  There, I said it.  So, about today, already...

Lessons Learned: Seasons of Lack

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When Jerry and I moved back to NYC in the Fall of 2009, we had no idea that we'd be literally living out of our car, and at the grace of good friends for the first whole month. We had spent the last year and a half completely oblivious to the very real struggles that the dwindling economy were causing people in places outside of Southern Louisiana.

We were reading the articles and seeing the news about millions of Americans being jobless, but we weren't feeling the effect at all. We were in a bubble, making above average and paying below average, in the small community where we lived.

When we knew it was time to head back to NYC, we just packed up our car, made arrangements with a friend to stay for what we thought was going to be a week or so, (just until we got an apartment and jobs) and hit the road. It was a complete shock when finding an apartment became a nightmare, and jobs were few and far between. It became less about choosing a career path for ourselves, and more about just finding a job for some income.

After about 3 weeks at our friends house, we knew our welcome was wearing out, and we headed to a hotel in New Jersey where we reflected on the absolute madness of our very miscalculated plan to just "wing it" when we got back in the city.

Far Away From Home: Why Community Matters

I have a rather large family, which continues to grow.  Pictured above are my 5 sisters, 1 brother and 3 step brothers.  (Not shown is 1 brother and 2 brother-in-laws, 1 sister-in-law).  As crazy and ridiculous as it can be to have so many siblings, it is also a ton of fun.

When my sisters and I were younger we used to dream about living on the same street, raising our families together...growing old together.  We never anticipated that we'd end up spread out across the country, thousands of miles away from each other.

Faith Filled Marriage: The "For Worse" Times

While some people believe that being in a marriage where Christ is at the center means a flawless and uneventful home life, the reality is that Christian marriages are just as susceptible to hurt, pain and trial, statistically ending in divorce just as often.

The truth of the matter is that we are all dealing with brokenness to some degree, and as a result, face many trials, and sometimes more than our "fair" share of heartache.  So, if suffering to some degree is inevitable, even in our closest partnerships, what can we do about it?

I have been meditating a lot on this recently because I have been battling issues from my childhood for what feels like over a decade now.  I was naive in the beginning of my marriage in believing that Jerry would only bring out the best in me, imagine my surprise when I realized he could easily bring out the worst!

There are three major mistakes we can make in our marriages when faced with the reality that it is not all sunshine and roses all of the time.