I never realized the amount of introspection and reflection that would absorb my time in the weeks and months leading to my big 3-0. It is as if a complete inventory of my life was somehow mandated.
I struggled through a lot of inner turmoil and as a result struggled outwardly as well. I wrestled with questions, so many questions, about my life and the current direction set before me.
Who are my friends? Who am I? Am I happy? Is this where I want to be? Am I doing my best? What is God's plan for my life? Am I living according to His will or mine? Do I have joy? What example am I setting for my daughter? Does my husband still love me? Am I failing?
I'm not going to lie, I uncovered a lot of hard truths in the process. Truths that I didn't want to face. But I also discovered that I have choices to make. If I am to live the life I long to have, I have to be the woman I am called to be. I need to rise to a new level of understanding, of appreciation, of devotion to my Lord and His purpose for my life.
