Deep Breath In, Deep Breath Out

What a day I've just had!  Seriously, today was full of challenges, crazy temptations, and emotions.  Before I plunge you into the madness, let me just say that, I have really changed.  Not like, "Oh you hit your 30's"maturity boom, but more, "Wow, God is really changing me from the inside out" kind of change.

I've always been sort of a "hard" person - extremely tough on the outside, stoic, unshakable even.  Not. Any. More.  Lately, I have been repeatedly blindsided by my emotions, the outward display of them as well as the intensity.  I'm not on any hormones.  I am not a wimp.  I am just easily moved to deep feelings over things that I used to appear numb to.

Don't get me wrong...this post is not a complaint at all, more of a revelation or an "ah-ha."  I used to think that my inability to display emotion was a permanent part of my personality, but I've come to realize, over a lot of grueling soul searching over the last decade, that it was actually a self-defense measure I acquired in childhood.  I am realizing how it made me seem phony, and callus to many people who I genuinely care about and longed to connect with.  I fear I may have even lost out on friendships because people took my lack of emotion as indifference or contempt.  Brutal introspect aside, and as uncomfortable as my newly flowing emotions are making me, there is so much joy in knowing that the huge wall that kept me so reserved, is now down.  I feel, ALIVE!

I am vulnerable and it feels great.  There, I said it.  So, about today, already...

Top 5: October 2011 Events

Oh October, the month where days turn a little darker, a little colder and remind me how very few of them are left in the year!!  Looking forward to:

1.  Date Night! I am slightly embarrassed to admit that Jerry and I have not been out for a date in many months.  That is all about to change!  We have a sitter booked for the evening and will be heading out for a little romance - all a surprise to me at this point.  Can't wait to follow up with a post for that night!

2.  Mom's Group! I volunteered to host a mom's group (sans kids) on Thursday evenings (bi-weekly) starting on the 6th.  I am not only excited to dig into another meaningful study of God's word, but to reconnect with some ladies I have not seen for most of the Summer.

3.  Family Visit!  My wonderful mother and father in-law will be joining us the second weekend of the month and we have already begun to plan a trip to farm for fall festivities including: apple picking, pumpkin picking, hayrides, corn mazes and petting fuzzy little farm animals.  I can't wait for Zion to experience this for the first time, and in the company of her grandparents!

4.  Fall Festivals!  New York City has a ton of kid-friendly events to celebrate fall.  While Jerry and I are not big on Halloween itself, we are fine with Zion experiencing the fun of the non-scary activities.  We'll be hoping to attend a few different events, possibly the Madison Square Park Fall Kids Fest, Halloween Parade & Pumpkin Sail and the 69th Street Halloween Block Party.

5.  Baking/Cooking with Fall Ingredients: This year I plan to make my first ever Pumpkin Pie, Fresh Spiced Apple Cider with my juicer (and the apples we pick), Pumpkin Bread, delicious roasted Acorn Squash and so much more!  Don't worry I will definitely be posting up recipes as often as I can!

What are your plans for October?  What do you love about Fall?

Lessons Learned: Seasons of Lack

radicalgenerosity.jpg

When Jerry and I moved back to NYC in the Fall of 2009, we had no idea that we'd be literally living out of our car, and at the grace of good friends for the first whole month. We had spent the last year and a half completely oblivious to the very real struggles that the dwindling economy were causing people in places outside of Southern Louisiana.

We were reading the articles and seeing the news about millions of Americans being jobless, but we weren't feeling the effect at all. We were in a bubble, making above average and paying below average, in the small community where we lived.

When we knew it was time to head back to NYC, we just packed up our car, made arrangements with a friend to stay for what we thought was going to be a week or so, (just until we got an apartment and jobs) and hit the road. It was a complete shock when finding an apartment became a nightmare, and jobs were few and far between. It became less about choosing a career path for ourselves, and more about just finding a job for some income.

After about 3 weeks at our friends house, we knew our welcome was wearing out, and we headed to a hotel in New Jersey where we reflected on the absolute madness of our very miscalculated plan to just "wing it" when we got back in the city.

Recipe of the Week: Cowboy Flank Steak w/Mini Cheddar Potatoes

Jerry and I LOVE trying out new recipes.  I enjoy cooking so much...I could try a new recipe every night, and often times I DO!!  I find that this is the best way to become inspired and familiar with flavor combinations, spices and other unfamiliar ingredients.

Confession time...so I found this amazing cookbook in the "Just added"section of my local library, like three months ago.  And, despite it being LONG overdue and the fines adding up, I have not been able to part ways with it.  Don't judge me! It is the BEST recipe book I have come across in a long time.  I know I need to give it back, but I just don't want to.  Don't worry, I am going to turn it back in, but I am not even going to blink an eye about the fines...my obsession with it is worth every dollar.

So this week's recipe comes straight from my most favorite cookbook of the moment!

What's For Dinner? Menu Plan 9/24-9/30

This week's menu! Mmmm-tastic!

Day	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Sat. 9/24	Eggs, Bacon & Toast	LO BBQ/Salad	5 Spice Salmon w/Oriental Orange Spinach (SBD/MISC)
Sun. 9/25	Pancakes, Bacon	LO Salmon	Falafel Patties w/Tzatziki Sauce (FFF p.142)
Mon. 9/26	Granola w/Yogurt	LO Falafel	BBQ Beans & Rice (GHK p.147)
Tues. 9/27	Egg Scramble w/Toast	LO Beans	Seared Turkey Cutlets w/Roasted Brussel Sprouts (FFF p.303)
Weds. 9/28	French Toast	LO Turkey	Tricolor Pasta w/Meat Sauce (My Recipe)
Thurs. 9/29	Granola w/Yogurt	LO Pasta	Ginger Beef Stir-fry (BHG p.68)
Fri. 9/30	Cheese Omelets	LO Stir-fry	Seasoned Tuna Sands & Warm Spinach Salad (BHG p.134,MISC)

Key:  LO = Leftovers, FFF = Fresh Food, Fast Cookbook, GHK = Good Housekeeping Cookbook, SBD = South Beach Diet Cookbook, BHG = Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook, MISC - Some random recipe I've collected, MOM = My Mom's Recipe, GMA = Grandma's Recipe

Far Away From Home: Why Community Matters

I have a rather large family, which continues to grow.  Pictured above are my 5 sisters, 1 brother and 3 step brothers.  (Not shown is 1 brother and 2 brother-in-laws, 1 sister-in-law).  As crazy and ridiculous as it can be to have so many siblings, it is also a ton of fun.

When my sisters and I were younger we used to dream about living on the same street, raising our families together...growing old together.  We never anticipated that we'd end up spread out across the country, thousands of miles away from each other.

DIY: Homemade Spa Water

Photo from Laundryontheline.wordpress.com

While visiting Austin, Texas during the Summer, I discovered a way to truly enjoy cucumbers.  I personally have never really liked cucumbers - except when pickled.  While enjoying one of the best pedicures I have ever had, I was treated to cucumber water.

It is very simple to make, basically peel and slice a cucumber into rounds, place in a pitcher, fill with cold water, refrigerate for at least an hour.  Pour a glass and enjoy.  After 24 hours, toss the cucumbers and start over.   

Honestly, this is the best way to drink water, ever!!!  Rather than buying a sugary juice or tea mix, or something with artificial flavoring, you can create delicious naturally refreshing and tasty drinks using fresh fruits and veggies.  

Click below for my latest favorite Spa Water Recipe:

Body for God: My Home "Gym"

While Jerry is blessed with a complimentary gym membership including personal training three times a week, I have to be much more creative in my approach to physical fitness.  Being in good health is extremely important to me.  When you feel good and look good it shows, and it makes a huge difference in the life of a homemaker.  I have to keep all those cookie-baking, gourmet-recipe-trying, toddler-running-circles round me, lazy pajama day calories at bay, you know?

There are likely a million reasons out there for why you should get regular exercise, a few that are personally important to me are: stress relief, mood elevation and libido.  I also believe that God wants us to be good stewards of our physical bodies, taking the best care of them possible.  My cure for the no-time for a gym-membership blues is my ever-evolving home gym.  Lets talk about what I have created so far, and what I hope to gather in the coming months.

Whats for Dinner? Menu Plan 9/18-9/24

In this new weekly segment, I like to call "What's for Dinner?", I will be sharing my meal plan and recipes with you. I have a love of trying new recipes, so any time I am being adventurous (which is most of the time, ha!) you will see what cookbook I am using. I will also site online recipes by linking to them, and my own recipes by sharing them in the blog (and linking to the post). Just looking at this coming week my mouth is watering!!!

   Day              Breakfast                Lunch                                                     Dinner

Sun.9/18	Oatmeal	LO Pollo Relleno	Zesty Spinach Soup w/Crostini (FFF p. 13)
Mon.9/19	Yogurt Parfait	Frozen Entree/LO Soup	Mushroom Stroganoff (FFF p.174)
Tues.9/20	Egg Scramble	LO Mushroom Stroganoff	Arugula Salad w/Prosciuto & Pears, French Bread (FFF p.117)
Weds.9/21	Oatmeal	Frozen Entree/LO Salad	BBQ Beans & Rice (GHK p.147)
Thurs.9/22	Yogurt Parfait	LO Beans & Rice	5 Spice Salmon w/Oriental Orange Spinach (SBD/MISC)
Fri. 9/23	Pancakes & Bacon	LO Salmon	Falafel Patties w/Tzatziki Sauce (FFF p.142)
Sat. 9/24	Eggs Sandwich	On the Go	Seared Turkey Cutlets w/Roasted Brussel Sprouts (FFF p.303)

Key:  LO = Leftovers, FFF = Fresh Food, Fast Cookbook, GHK = Good Housekeeping Cookbook, SBD = South Beach Diet Cookbook, BHG = Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook

Developing a Theology of Homemaking

Image from TheWayEverlasting.com

A few weeks ago during a message series called, "Joining God in the Renewal of All Things", our Pastor Jon Tyson spoke on being on the "Redemptive Edge" of your industry.  A key example of what he meant by that statement was his description of a common misconception of how we can bring change to our very broken and corrupt world.

Pastor Tyson gave the example of placing a strong Christian in a "CEO" type position at a major cable company in order to create lasting change in broadcasting and programming.  He refuted this idea by stating that even if that were to happen, any major changes would be usurped by the demand of the masses for the very material we would want removed.  It wouldn't take long before the board of directors would send the Christian CEO packing.  

Instead, he suggested, that same Christian could get thoroughly invested in the philanthropy oriented area of the company, where he could offer suggestions where large amounts of profit could actually be used to do good in the world, therefore redeeming it for the Glory of God.   

Mommy's Little Helper, Daddy's Little Princess

Zion is growing and changing with each passing day.  We are incredibly blessed to have such a beautiful, charming and spirited little girl.  We can't help but look at her now with pure delight, even as she begins to explore her independence and test her limits.

I have found that where she used to love to follow simple commands, and as a result receive lavish praise from Jerry and I, she now gives me a little smirk as if she's saying, "What if I don't?"  In order to combat this, I have noticed that I now need to make every simple task a fun and exciting one.  This is actually pretty easy...I just ask her if she will be Mommy's Big Helper, to which she enthusiastically nods her head.  Granted, it does take sometimes 3-4 times as long to do the simple things, it prevents a melt down and keeps her busy, while making her feel proud and purposeful.

Zion has always loved being a girly girl.  From the very beginning she has loved it when I have gotten her dressed in "Prih-tee" clothes or have spent time doing her hair.  She loves to gather all of the materials from my bedroom - her hair pretties, brush, spray bottle and comb.   She plops down on my lap and away I go doing her hair.  The minute I finish, she pops up quickly and toddles over to the full length mirror to admonish herself.

To see her big smile as she looks at herself and loves what she sees, is adorable.  She appears to be getting close to the age where twirling and showing Daddy her "Prih-tee" dress or "Prih-tee" hair is a part of the day to day ritual.  We sure love our little princess, who's personality is certainly blossoming before our very eyes.

Faith Filled Marriage: The "For Worse" Times

While some people believe that being in a marriage where Christ is at the center means a flawless and uneventful home life, the reality is that Christian marriages are just as susceptible to hurt, pain and trial, statistically ending in divorce just as often.

The truth of the matter is that we are all dealing with brokenness to some degree, and as a result, face many trials, and sometimes more than our "fair" share of heartache.  So, if suffering to some degree is inevitable, even in our closest partnerships, what can we do about it?

I have been meditating a lot on this recently because I have been battling issues from my childhood for what feels like over a decade now.  I was naive in the beginning of my marriage in believing that Jerry would only bring out the best in me, imagine my surprise when I realized he could easily bring out the worst!

There are three major mistakes we can make in our marriages when faced with the reality that it is not all sunshine and roses all of the time.

From Mama B's Kitchen: Italian Style T.S.A.M. Burgers

One thing that I love about being a homemaker is having the desire to cook and be inventive in coming up with new recipes.  Jerry knows that I am somewhat obsessed with reality style cooking shows; Top Chef, Hell's Kitchen, MasterChef and the like.  I decided that one thing I'd like to do is start cataloguing and sharing some of my successes in the home kitchen.  I will call this weekly segment: "From Mama B's Kitchen."

Unfortunately I forgot to take a picture of this week's creation, so it will be sans picture, however; future posts in this series will include photos of special ingredients as well as the finished product.  And now without further suspense, your recipe of the week.  

Italian Style Turkey Swiss Avocado Mushroom (TSAM) Burgers!

Ingredients List:

4 Italian Hoagie (Sandwich) Rolls

4 Pre-formed Turkey Burger Patties*, Seasoned as Desired and Ready to Grill!

1 pkg Baby Bella Mushrooms, Sliced

1 small yellow onion, finely chopped

1 tbsp italian seasonings

1 tsp garlic salt

1 tbsp olive oil or butter

1-2 minced garlic cloves (can be fresh or from the jar)

1 Avocado, thinly sliced lengthwise

4 thick slices deli style Jarlsberg swiss cheese

*Look for 1/4lb. burger patties, or feel free to make your own burgers!

Where Do I Go From Here?

I never realized the amount of introspection and reflection that would absorb my time in the weeks and months leading to my big 3-0.  It is as if a complete inventory of my life was somehow mandated.

I struggled through a lot of inner turmoil and as a result struggled outwardly as well.  I wrestled with questions, so many questions, about my life and the current direction set before me.

Who are my friends?  Who am I?  Am I happy?  Is this where I want to be?  Am I doing my best?  What is God's plan for my life?  Am I living according to His will or mine?  Do I have joy?  What example am I setting for my daughter?  Does my husband still love me?  Am I failing?

I'm not going to lie, I uncovered a lot of hard truths in the process.  Truths that I didn't want to face.  But I also discovered that I have choices to make.  If I am to live the life I long to have, I have to be the woman I am called to be.  I need to rise to a new level of understanding, of appreciation, of devotion to my Lord and His purpose for my life.