Faith Filled Marriage: The ♥ Grows Fonder

I don't know how military wives do it.  I don't know how single mothers do it.  I don't know how widows do it.  This last week has me reflecting on what it is like to be apart from the husband for more than a day or two.  Jerry just got home from a week away in Atlanta!  He started a new job in the beginning of the year that may send him on other out-of-town engagements in the future.  I've never really been away from him for more than a handful of days at a time in the last 4+ years we've been together.  
So the question is:  Does absence really make the heart grow fonder?
A few things surprised me about this one week business trip to Atlanta:
1.  I cried, almost sobbed, in the minutes leading up to his departure from our home to the airport.  I am not a very overly emotional person, so I was completely blindsided by my feelings.  I believe it was 75% the realization that him being gone meant very little day-to-day companionship, and no warm body laying next to me at night {plus} 25% fear and panic about being all by myself for a week with our daughter,  and the idea that you just never know, something could happen.  Then I gave myself permission to be sad, this is my husband.  And yes, it was only a week, but we are much closer than I realize, perhaps I've taken that for granted.
2.  I anticipated and planned for a "bad week" of parenting.  I just couldn't imagine making it through the week all by myself, without severe battles that usually resulted in me raising my voice, more than I'd like to admit.  But, I was surprised, again.  I was able to have fantastic days with Zion, keep up with the housework, keep up with the blog, have a few visits with friends and even workout.  It is amazing that God used this week to encourage me as a mother, by showing me how capable I am of rising to the challenge of a situation, especially when I don't have a choice in the matter.  I was able to see for the first time, how I let some really ridiculous things bother me when Jerry is home, and how he really pulls his weight when it comes to helping out and his share of parenting.
3.  I can still be distrusting and fearful.   Technology is pretty fantastic, allowing Jerry and I to Skype almost every morning and sometimes in the evenings too.  That being said, the only evening I didn't hear from Jerry after work, I was fine, until the morning, when I didn't hear from him again…at first.  Thank you reality and modern culture for making it so easy to distrust an honest man on a business trip!!  I was getting worked up when I couldn't seem to get in touch with him,  thinking that he  was purposefully avoiding me, or that something had happened (cheating, partying, etc.)  This completely caught me off guard, because I trust my husband.  He is the most loyal person I have ever met…and it was disturbing to have such thoughts.  Thankfully, at the last minute he called before his training and we Skyped.  I felt so silly for even allowing the thoughts to linger for a minute. 
As I sit here, writing this post (Friday evening), I am eagerly anticipating Jerry's arrival home.  I feel like Santa is coming.  I mean I'm totally excited.   It has been a rough day but nothing can shake the joy  of knowing he will be home soon.  
The answer is:Yes, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.
And this is what I learned from Jerry's absence:
1.  It is easy to take your spouse for granted.  One of the quickest ways to discover whether or not you are taking your spouse for granted is to be separated from them for an extended length of time.  Knowing this now, I feel a great debt of gratitude toward my husband for all that he does while still working his tail off to provide for us.  I need to keep my focus on being grateful each day for everything he does, both big and small to make life wonderful for us.
2.  Love is so much more than a feeling.  I already knew this, but I really feel I had a fresh revelation while Jerry was away.  In marriage there are definitely different seasons, some where you can feel giddy and full of that mushy kind of love, while others can seem more practical and less emotional, almost like a partnership.   Because I know that love is a choice to commit yourself to another person completely, I need to remember that this equals a lot of grace and acceptance of where that person is at, where I am at, and what is going on in our lives at that time.  I need to be more flexible with my love.  And I need to remember how strong our love really is.
3.  God only gives us as much as we can handle.  I had no idea how much guilt I was carrying around, not to mention the lack of faith in my abilities (or really, God's ability in me) to succeed this week.  I experienced fear as Jerry left, fear of being a "single" mom and fear of infidelity, and none of these fears were based on reality.  God was there for me through the friends who visited, the peace of prayer with my little lady each night, and in the warm "I miss you" messages that came from Jerry throughout the week.  I need to remember the one who really holds my life, my child and my marriage together: it isn't me.
What is the longest you've been away from your spouse?  How did you deal with it?  Does this resonate with you?


 

The Weekly Wrap {1.14.12}

 We took a little trip to the bookstore to get Zion a new book.  While there I ended up finding several books I'd like to read, and walked away with one that is helping me a lot already!

 Started eating a lot more healthy this week, thank you Trader Joe's for making it easy!


 Zion got to sit on her Princess couch and eat, a big girl privilege in our house.


Another beautiful scene in our neighborhood as we approached home after a walk.

Zion took "Bear" to the playground in her mini-stroller…she was so happy to have it outside.


"Bear" had to swing with her as well.

Even though we missed Jerry while he was away in Atlanta this week for work, we had a beautiful week.
How was your week?



 

Unscripted: Reflections

Life in the Fast Lane…or Warp-Speed Through Life's Transitions!
These are tag lines that could easily describe the last year (not to mention preceeding years) of my life.  I am not the type of person that realizes all I have been through in such a short period of time, until I force myself to slow down and intentionally reflect.   I find the day to day of life to be busy and exciting.  Weeks can go by before I realize I've just been through some major life event, let alone how deeply I've been impacted by it.
Moving, different jobs, no job, adding a child, marriage, poverty,  you name it, it is probably something I have sped through in the last couple of years without giving myself the proper time to respect the MASSIVE personal changes that result from those kinds of things.  But here I am.  And right now, I'm thinking about last year, specifically, and reflecting on the big things that came about.
Zion's First BirthdaySuccessful EMDR TreatmentJoined New Church CommunityMoved, Again (Third time in 3 years!) Maid of Honor in my BFF's WeddingThird Wedding AnniversaryGave Up Alcohol, AgainCelebrated My 30th BirthdayMoved Blog from Tumblr to Blogger  
I know this list is incomplete, but just seeing the few things on the list, 2011 was definitely a very busy year for me.  Some of these events brought great joy, and most took a lot of energy and planning and were down-right exhausting!  Few of these events received their proper weight of reflection and introspection.  
But 2012 is going to be a different year…intentional living, moment by moment.
This year I am going to slow things down or at least make an attempt at it.  I'm going to say "no" more and "yes" less.  I am going to be more real with myself, and unafraid of what people think.  I'm going to be a courageous storyteller, a devoted and respectful wife, and an approachable mother.  I am going to weigh decisions, and options more heavily.  I am going to learn how to relax and let things be less about time efficiency and more about quality.  
I am not going to make any more excuses for where I am, instead I am going to work hard to get to where I want to be.
Perhaps it was the pivotal moment of crossing that threshold from my 20's to 30's that has motivated me to make life count, or maybe it was my transition to motherhood and seeing how quickly my daughter has grown?  It very well may be God just asking me to slow down and not miss the "living" part of life.  Whatever the reason, this year I'm doing just that.

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. ~ Robert Frost

 

Link ♥

Hey guess what….I'm guest posting today!  Come say hello and checkout Nicole's recently redesigned blog!! Yay!!! :)

Do you own a Bumbo seat?  Did you know there is a safety warning about them?  You can get a FREE exchange for a PrinceLionheart BebePod!

This Mama is so bad-a$$.  I would have done the same thing, no question!

You know you're a parent when…{fill in the blank}.

50 Healthy All-Natural Detox Recipes … no pills, just good food.

Pondering chopping it all off for the new year?  Here are 10 ideas!

Good, cheap fun for toddlers.  And 40 ways to entertain your toddler while laying down {you know, for THOSE kind of days.}

These shoes, oh these shoes! LOVE!

Sorry ladies, JT is officially off the market.  *sob*

If you want to know why I'll never go bungee jumping, this is why.

Happy Friday!




 

Muffintop Meltdown {v.2}

Let's talk progress, points and one-for-one!!

 
 
 

Progress Report:

Total Weight Lost: 2 pounds

Total Inches Lost: 3.5 inches

I had a chance to sit down with the hubs to discuss my proposed point reward system.  Besides talking numbers in terms of weight lost or inches lost, the only other numbers I'm interested in are the ones that get me something I really want as a reward (besides the satisfaction of meeting my goals!)  For me, this means CASH money.  

Each day I collect points for doing something toward my goal:

At the end of each week I tally up the points, and at the end of the month I tally up those.  I can turn in my points at any time, but in order to get the bigger amounts I have to save my points. 

Did somebody say KA-CHING?!  Yeah, I want that cash, and it has so far been super motivating.

This Week:

I'm proud of these choices:

Grocery Shopping:  I didn't buy CHEESE OR BUTTER!  And since Jerry is away this week, I went ahead and loaded up on my modified vegetarian kinds of foods.  This is a HUGE win for me!

Tuesday Morning:  After a very rough night with Zion (only 4ish hours of sleep) I still headed out the door determined not to miss a free Pilates class that my Mops group was hosting!

I'd like to work more on:

Determining the difference between when I am thirsty or hungry.

Getting more consistent sleep .

Cutting down to 1 cup of coffee a day.

I totally cheated when:

I was surprised by how sad I got when Jerry left for his business trip this week, and proceeded  to justify eating a giant peanut-butter-chocolate chip milkshake to make myself feel better.  (I justified this by: hey, this ice cream needs to get out of our house…and I don't want to waste it!)

My One-For-One this week will be:  Yogurt/Applesauce/Herbs for Fats/Oils/Butter, as much as I'm able to substitute that is my goal!

How did you do this week?  I'd love to follow your success!  Feel free to link up below!

 

Word{ful} Wednesday: Happy Birthday Mama

Today my birth Mama celebrates another birthday.  On behalf of her special day, I've written a little note with a blessing/prayer.
Dear Mama,  On this day {51 years ago!} you were given the breath of life.  God himself chose you to come into this world.  There was no guarantee that life would be easy, and if anything it has been severely difficult for you.  It's not too late to embrace Him, to accept His love in your heart, to be transformed by His great mercy.  Nothing you have done or have been through is great enough to separate you from His love.  He stands waiting to wrap His loving arms around you, washing you in the cleansing waters of His tears.  Tears that He has cried for every hurt that you have endured.  His love never fails.  This I know to be true.
Today, I pray for you a blessing of unshakable peace…no matter what you are facing today.  Today, I pray for you a blessing of courage to boldly take the next step in front of you without wasting another moment looking back.Today, I pray for you a blessing of health, and many more years to come.Today, I pray you will find your way to the God who loves you, and receive Him fully.Today, I pray that we would talk more than once a year.
Love,Courtney



 

Trying It Now: BeautyMint

I am in no way being sponsored to write this post, just sharing my recent find and what I think of it so far.  


Have you heard of BeautyMint?  (If not, I am sure you've at least heard of JewelMint, StyleMint, or ShoeMint?)  Basically, it is the Skin-Care line created in partnership with a "Beverly Hills Celebrity Dermatologist" and Jessica Simpson.

I decided to try it out.  Until I hit 30, I cared relatively little about my skin.  Sad, but true.  Now, I am looking in the mirror and seeing fine lines…noticeable ones.  My husband has great skin, and is going to age better (it is in his genes!)  So I've been really adamant on getting a good regimen going.


What I've tried before:
ProActiv - I have adult acne outbreaks, especially since being off birth control.  Thank you hormones!  So I used ProActiv for a while, too long even.  Don't do it!  It is very damaging and harsh to the skin!
I've used the MaryKay Timewise System.  I used to be a consultant.  I'd be willing to try it again if I don't like BeautyMint.
I also sampled the Somme Institute's MDT5…and that stuff…Ahhhhh-Mazing.  But it is out of my budgetary reach right now.  (*tear*)
So I finally responded to one of the "deals" in an email and got my first box of BeautyMint (a 5 Piece Set.)  I've been using it for almost a week.  I have some good things to say, but the jury is still out.

The highlight of using it so far is that I've always had flaky, dry skin in the creases of my nose, and it is COMPLETELY gone.  I'm amazed.  I've seriously used prescription strength lotion from the dermatologist I see here in NYC with no relief…and in one week…gone.  
On the other side, I have been having some breakouts…so not sure if that is just my skin purging itself of the impurities or what.  
I'll let you know later in the month whether I decide to keep using it or try something different. 
Do you have a skincare line that you love?  Would love more options!


 

"Pinning!" {Wk.7} Motivation

Welcome to the FIRST "Pinning!" Post of 2012!!!

First timer?  Check out the RULES, then link up below!

This week's theme: Motivation

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I'm ready to do this! Are you!?  What is your current motivation?

THANK YOU for Linking up last week… year!  Let's pick up where we left off and build some momentum going forward!!

Who will win the very first Award for Pinning-Est in 2012?

Are you "Pinning"?  

Come on, everyone is doing it.  

Join me MONDAYS for weekly sharing of Pinterest finds.  

After all, together we are "Pinning!"

{Rules}

January 9th: Motivation (Anything related to your goals in 2012)

January 16th: Baby It's Cold Outside (Anything to survive the cold winter)

January 23rd: These Boots Were Made For Walking (Boots!)

January 30th: Take Me Away! (If you could go anywhere right now…)

February 6th: Partytime (Plan a party, any party!)