Are You Sponsor-worthy? Part I

First, let me just preface my post by stating that this is my opinion, and it is based on my experiences in sponsoring others as well as being sponsored myself.  Also, this is not an article about working with companies and brands - its an article specifically addressing blog-to-blog sponsorship.

So what makes a person sponsor-worthy?   What is the best indicator that you will get your money's worth from sponsoring someone's blog?  Is it their high number of followers?  Their stats?

Reciprocity >> This is the starting point for me.  It really comes down to the Golden Rule.  I believe sincerely in the power of treating others the way I want to be treated.  I know how I want to be treated when I pay someone to advertise my blog on their blog.  I want to be treated as a customer and I want good customer service.  So when someone purchases an ad on my site, I want them to know they are valued and important to me - and that I am grateful.

Practically speaking, I do this by communicating with them in several ways:

I have a welcome email that I send out to every ad space holder - at the beginning of their month of sponsorship.  This email is gold - it is filled with what I will be doing to promote their blog (based on their level of purchase), how I will do it, and what they can expect from their partnership.  It also gives them a calendar of events and important dates for events that will be on my blog (ways for them to grow - connect - and be featured.)

I follow them on everything.  The next step for me is to follow/subscribe to their blog and/or shop, and all social media that I can find them on.  I do this because I want them to know they are on my radar.  I'm going to be looking for ways that I can promote them and will need to know where they are active online.

I visit and browse a bit.  I do a little blog-stalking to see what kinds of things the sponsor has going on, and to learn about them - you know their name, kids and hubbies names, what general area they live in -etc.  I also note their size, niche if they have one and general posting rate.  Basically I try to get to know a little about them.  Plus, I need to make sure they are not a crazy phishing site or adult site or some other nonsense.

Relationship >> This is the heart of it all.  To me sponsorship is more accurately termed partnership.  In a sponsorship I am seeking funds to help me reach my goals.  In a partnership I am seeking funds to help us meet our goals.  Feel the difference?  When it comes down to it, the more I get involved in blogging the less time I have to read a ton of other blogs- so when someone sponsors my blog - they are going to be one of my regular reads.

It makes sense that I would build a relationship with that person - as I am often connecting with them over the length of their ad.  I'm not expecting to become BFF's with everyone who buys ad space but I do think that a big part of my reason for blogging is the community aspect.  So, to conclude this point - building relationships through sponsorship/partnership, being friendly essentially, is a key component to being sponsor-worthy.

Reputation >>  This is a big deal too!  Just like in your real life, your reputation matters.  It is especially true in blogging where a negative encounter can leave heavy repercussions.  Read: Treat your (sponsors) customers like the gold they are! They are precious and their positive or negative testimony of sponsoring you can spread easily through their dm's and private emails!  I know this firsthand because I've had others share with me frustrations with blogs they've sponsored.

A good idea is to under promise and over deliver!  Anytime I have gotten more than what I paid for, I've been a happy customer.  Well, I can think of exceptions to that but they have nothing to do with blogging.  Definitely offer something beyond just ad space - and then follow through always - go above and beyond often!

I believe if you keep these three R's in mind you will have the foundation set for being sponsor-worthy!

Stay tuned for more practical tips on sponsorship!  Have a specific question you want answered?  I'm collecting a bunch for an upcoming vlog, send me an email and I'll make sure I answer yours!

babyhuddle! U.S. Launch!

Hey lovelies! Check out this great resource for parents that is launching today in the U.S.! babyhuddle is an online parenting community, one-stop shop and resource guide all in one.  They launched in the UK in 2011 and have been growing like crazy!  I had a few days to test out the site ahead of the launch, and its been super easy to use, and a great way to ask questions, organize lists of items that would help others, and find new and interesting products that other parents recommend.

Here is a screen shot of my profile ... I created a couple of lists, and have asked/answered a few questions as well.

You can follow specific parents that you find on babyhuddle with lists/answers you find valuable.

Here are some of my pluses and minuses of the site:

(+):

• Super easy to use and efficient, clean interface.
• You can create great bundles of products in your lists - which is great to use as a resource for friends that are expecting for the first time, or to keep track of things you found invaluable during different stages.
• Great information, and answers from parents.

(-):

• I couldn't find a way to add any products that weren't already listed on the directory - and there were some things that I'd love to have added to my lists, so I hope that will be a future option.

Though this isn't the first parent community site I've come across, it does offer a few unique ways of sorting and gaining valuable information from other parents.  I also feel that it is less cluttered and overwhelming than a lot of the other resources out there - I encourage you to take a look at it yourself
and see what you think of it!

Make sure you check out my lists - "Help for sleep deprived parents" and "Breastfeeding Easily & Successfully" for some of my favorite products that got me through that first year with Zion!

Visit babyhuddle on: Facebook // Twitter // Pinterest

I was compensated for my time in writing/reviewing Babyhuddle, however; all opinions and views expressed in this post are my own.

Winners & Ad Space Claimers

Hey lovelies!! Woohooo! I'm finally back with the winner of the Lauren Nicole Gifts $75 Shop Credit, and all of the official ad space claimers from the Birthday/Blog Anniversary Giveaway in early September!

Winner of the Lauren Nicole Gifts Giveaway:

Congrats Lesley R! 

Can't wait to find out what you choose from this great shop! 

 Thank you to all who entered!!

And now the ad space claimers from my 1st Blog Anniversary:'

Warning - totally unnecessary to watch this video!

December Ads:
Loveliest -
Ashley M.

Lovelier - 
Brittney L.
Ashley K.
Erin B.
Jessica S.

Lovely - 
Emily R.
Diana Z.
Sarah F.

Most Lovely - 
Jessica B.
Jennifer N.

January Ads:
Loveliest -
Courtney D.
Ang P.

Lovelier -
Brighton H.
DeAnn P.

Lovely -
Sarah-Louise B.
Amber M.
Brittany H.
Kassie R.
Sara V.

Most Lovely -
Krystal B.
Melissa P.

February Ads:
Loveliest -
Kimberly
Chelsea O.

Most Lovely -
Kelly H.


All of you will be emailed this evening - and totally your responsibility to claim your ad space via the instructions I send! Thank you to all who entered and participated! XO

This Post Sponsored By:

A Post #Sandy #NYC

Things have been a bit nuts here in the last week.  I can't believe its been a whole week since I've posted, but other things have been on my mind.  Like superstorms and millions of people being displaced from their homes in many states including my own.

While, our little family survived the storm with little more than the occasional flicker of the lights and the epic howling of the wind that sounded like a banshee screaming outside our apartment, others are dealing with loss of life, property and the basics we so easily take for granted.

I think the hardest part is the fact that so many people are hurting, more than can be reached right now by the Red Cross & Government programs - and the rest of the country could easily just go on their way about their own business and forget about the needs of the people here.

If its easy to remain comfortable in my bubble up in Washington Heights, how much easier in a part of the country that didn't face the storm?  I fear another Katrina - towns and cities decimated with only a small percentage of the country giving of their time and treasure to help.

New York is resilient but I also disagree with the attitudes of overconfidence and arrogance by many officials shown on the news - New Yorkers need help right now.  And the city and state is not able to match the need - which means the help has to come from elsewhere - and I think our city and state would do better tempering the "We can survive anything attitude" to the "We need your help - in some ways desperately" attitude!

From things I have heard just today, several of our shelters are running low on supplies.  The demand is too great at this time to effectively care for those who are in need.  We're talking babies without basic necessities like diapers and formula.

I too sometimes find myself at a loss for how much I can do to help so many people.  I mean, I am a stay-at-home mom with a 2 year old at home to worry about.  But I'm driving myself crazy brainstorming things I can do with her to help.  Is it making meals?  Is it giving money?  Whatever it is I have to do something to help!  It is not only my responsibility as an American, but my hearts desire as a Christian.

I'll admit I am very independent in my political views, to the dismay of some, however; I want to challenge those who stand on the viewpoint of "Government programs to help others should be cut" to prove that there are others who will rise to this call of providing for their fellow Americans in such a time of great need.  Because some of these people have lost everything - every. single. thing. - and will need help to get back on their feet.  I hope those who gawk at these programs put their money where their mouths are.

I am burdened in my heart to be a bit of a squawking voice at this moment in time, because I don't want people to just simply forget and go about their lives without knowing the truth - our side of the country needs your help right now - in whatever way you can give - please do so.

I've created a special ad space on BaxtronLife for the rest of this year - and 100% of the proceeds will be donated to local relief efforts in our area that provide supplies to families in need.  (Through TGC Hurricane Sandy Relief Fund).   For more details please visit my sponsor page here.

Praying for all of the people suffering the results of this storm,

Loveliest Featurette + Giveaway Taylor from Goings on in Texas

I have the best treat for you guys today.  I'm so excited I am literally giddy as I'm typing this!  Not only is this the first time I've EVER done something like this, I think its been one of the funnest posts I've ever worked on...ever!

I had the awesome privilege of live interviewing Taylor from Goings on in Texas, and let me just tell you - it was a blast, and I can't wait to do more of these kinds of interviews in the future.  Not only is Taylor a total sweetheart - but she has one of the coolest job titles I've ever heard, Petroleum Landman!

Watch her awesome interview, I know you will love meeting her as much as I did, and then check out the details on how you can win the awesome giveaway she has for you today!

Links from the video:

Celebrate! // The Truth // Color in Motion 5k // DFW Bloggers // FabulessWardrobe

One winner takes all of these awesome prizes!!!  Enter via the Rafflecopter below!  Good luck!!

  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Taylor is one of my Loveliest sponsors in October & November.  Would you like to be a part of a feature interview on BaxtronLife?  Save 15% on a Loveliest Ad using code: LOVELY15 !!

Repressed Memories

Trigger Warning: Some of the stories and information shared may trigger unexpected emotional reactions or responses, therefore please read with caution.  If you do experience a strong reaction - connect with someone you trust who can help you process your reaction.

Halloween 1984

I was three in this picture.  I remember this Halloween well.  I was going to be a witch.  I had this adorable witch costume with an adorable little broom.  I remember my biological father decorating my broom with black electrical tape spiraled up the broom handle, and I remember being extremely angry when he took the broom and pretended to use it as a guitar.  I remember being so angry in fact, that I refused to carry the broom with me on halloween - I wanted nothing to do with it.  Totally irrational toddler feelings - yet feelings that were significant enough to me that I still vividly remember them.

Its interesting to think about how our memories are stored in early childhood.  How is it that some memories can seem crystal clear - vividly stored and imprinted in our hearts and minds, while others seem to escape us?  How are some memories classified and stored manageably while others are pushed into the outer reaches of our psyche to protect us from their harm?  How young is really too young to remember?

Until the last few years, I experienced large blank spaces in my childhood memories.  Not just spotty memories of being three, significant blackouts in memory throughout most of my childhood until becoming a pre-teen.  As a teenager I experienced more than the typical emotional upheaval - my heart bled through my adolescent years as I experienced pain and a drowning sadness that seemed to envelope me no matter what was occurring in my life.

I struggled through daily life into my early 20's hitting rock bottom several times before recognizing the hand of grace being extended to me.  Even after I had witnessed and experienced Christ's saving grace in my life, nothing could have prepared me for what was to come as my 20's came to an end.

It was in the security and stability of my marriage at 27 years of age that things started to unravel.  I couldn't understand why I began to experience violent emotions and a near hatred for men.   The hardest part was feeling that I couldn't seem to emotionally separate my husband from the men who had caused me harm in my life.  And it was at this point in time that my eyes began to open.   I was desperate to honor and respect this man, my husband, broken in his own ways but not the perpetrator of the crimes I began to subconsciously hold him accountable for.

Whether I wanted to face the past or not, I no longer had a choice, as my repressed childhood memories began to surface in unpredictable ways.  I have to pause for a minute here and share that one of the most difficult parts of processing what has been going on with me over the past few years has been the inability to trust in my memories.  Memory repression is the subject of controversy - with several studies  showing outcomes as divided as the current political beliefs of our nation.

I had to get to a point of a decision - to proceed open-minded to what was happening to me, willing to allow my memories to form cohesively without judgment - or to just refuse to acknowledge the overwhelming amount of evidence that was beginning to stack up in favor of my fragmented memories.  I chose to remain open minded - and began the process of facing honestly the wounds of my past.

I wish I could say that what I experienced were flashbacks - like the ones you see in the movies.  Vivid, clear - undeniable memory intrusions bursting forward from a certain trigger.  But it wasn't like that for me, it hasn't been like that.  Instead, I have experienced emotions that seem to come out of nowhere - at an intensity that has terrified me and at times my husband.

I have experienced fear and terror, the emptiness of the bottomless pit of depression and despair and unrelenting sadness.  The uniqueness of these emotions is their inability to be tied to any present day event, and the inability to process them with my adult reasoning/coping mechanisms.  It is hard to explain, but it has been like experiencing these overwhelming emotions as a young child with undeveloped coping skills and zero rationalization.  I have also experienced physical memory recovery - I fear more of this is yet to come.

When such things are happening to you, it is nearly impossible to accept the audacious idea that there is no grounding in true memory - or that somehow these repressed memories are figments of the imagination as some studies would claim.  And yet, the doubts that those claims place on an individual who begins to remember what they have buried, are enough to make you wish even more so that you could bury deeper the reality that desires to surface.

I was only three when my anger over such an irrational thing as a broomstick caused a permanent mark in my memory.  I was around the same age when the abuse - too terrifying to acknowledge in the moment - was locked away in my memory, the key buried only to surface decades later - when  the courage to unlock the past and the desperation to reclaim the future began to demand the attention of the present.

I said NO! to Gluten Udi's Gluten-Free 14-Day Challenge

Hey lovelies!! Today I want to share something that has really impacted my family in a positive way!  We recently participated in Udi's Gluten-Free 14 Day Challenge!

What is Gluten and why should you care?  Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye and barley that gives baked goods texture and binds them together.  Trouble is, gluten is often difficult to digest and due to the many changes in the way grains are harvested and processed now, more people than ever before are developing sensitivities and allergies to it!

Is Gluten really that bad? If you are gluten sensitive or have Celiacs disease symptoms can range from GI Distress to infertility!!

When Udi's contacted me about their 14 day challenge, I eagerly agreed to participate.  My husband and I have noticed a correlation to foods we eat and our overall sense of health and wellbeing, and we've been trying different adjustments to end the plague of upset stomach, indigestion and overall imbalance we've felt.  One of the things we'd put on our list to try was to go gluten-free, and we've recently been doing a lot of research about the paleo lifestyle.

A few weeks ago, we took the plunge and went gluten-free for 14 days.  Udi's helped us out by providing us with meal suggestions, samples of their gluten-free products and a few great printouts to guide us through the process!

I have to say, giving up gluten was made a lot easier by having gluten-free substitutes for some of our favorite foods!

After just a few days of being off gluten my husband and I immediately noticed we didn't feel as bloated.  In fact, my husband who often complains of stomach discomfort after meals didn't complain at all.  I felt like my energy levels improved as well several days into the challenge.

By the end of the first week, I felt more confident cooking gluten-free and actually managed to try a few recipes from the web.  I had to be careful picking ingredients because there are so many foods that contain hidden gluten!!

L-R: Egg & Spinach Scramble, Fajita Steak Salad, Spaghetti Squash Spaghetti

By the end of the 14 day challenge, I noticed my skin was clearer, and the dry skin I usually have near my nose was completely gone.  I felt lighter on my feet, less heavy and bloated, and my energy levels seemed much more stable.  My husband also noticed a huge improvement in the way he felt overall, including virtually no stomach discomfort after eliminating gluten!

Another surprise was how much better Zion appeared to feel eating gluten-free, I noticed her stomach wasn't nearly as bloated and she seemed more energetic.  I was incredibly happy to have a few Udi's gluten-free treats to ease the transition for her as she has a fondness for baked goods like her daddy!

The conclusion: the 14 day challenge was exactly what we needed to move us further along the path of eating right and feeling good.  We've since decided to continue our journey of eradicating gluten from our diet.

The few times we have re-introduced gluten just to see how we'd feel, we were met with stomach aches and nausea, a result which has solidified our resolve even more.

Have you considered going gluten-free?  What do you think would be the hardest item to give up!?  

We participated in Udi's Gluten-Free 14 day challenge and were given free samples of Udi's gluten-free products to try, as always the thoughts and opinions shared are my own.

Singledou[b]t's October Giveaway!

My friend Kim (in blogging and real life) is hosting a great group giveaway on her blog!

Tons of great prizes by some of my favorite ladies - plus I'm contributing toward a Giftcard of your choosing!  Check out the prizes and enter the rafflecopter below - you must be a follower of Singledou[b]t to enter! Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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In My Opinion...

Rachel over at LaLa Lists invited me to link up with her this week for her "In My Opinion" post - where she encourages you to share whatever the heck you want about what you think.  Fun idea, could get me in trouble, we'll see.

In My Opinion...

1.  I'm over the pendulum swing of Feminism - its become less about being treated with equal value and more about women being favored over men - and the way men are ridiculed on tv as fathers and made to look like idiots by controlling domineering women makes me sick!  

2.  The very people who preach tolerance are usually the least tolerant.  

3.  Sex trafficking and sexual crimes are the worst and most widely under-prosecuted forms of evil and destruction in our world today. 

4.  Our country divided will never be united.

5.  Everyone should stop watching the news.

6.  There is not going to be a zombie apocalypse.

7.  Dark chocolate is a cure-all for a myriad of emotional disturbances.

8.  Instant gratification is NOT worth it, you appreciate the things in life that you have to work hard for.

9.  Society as a whole has come to accept emotionally abusive behavior as normal.

10.  If you are pissed off after reading this, we probably shouldn't be friends.  I still love you though!

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Still on the fence about @Klout? Measuring Influence by Engagement

Check out this awesome infographic - and then join me on Klout!

via OnlineClasses.org

PLEASE PROVIDE ATTRIBUTION TO ONLINECLASSES.ORG WITH THIS CONTENT!

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Music Therapy Florence + The Machine | Shake it Out

One thing that has been a constant in my life is the soundtrack.  For most of my journey so far I've gravitated to music that allows me to release and process my emotions through the words and music others have written.  I'll be sharing songs that I have really connected with throughout my struggles and even my joys in life - I will be calling this "Music Therapy."

The first song I'm sharing is one I listen to often.  First, I'm a huge fan of Florence + The Machine, and second her lyrics in this particular song really resonate with me.

Though she is talking about a former relationship with a lover - I find myself reflecting on my relationship with denial and how that one particular relationship was like a devil on my back, choking the very life out of me that I was trying to protect.  The romance of denial was that it made me feel protected, but in the end I was disillusioned by it and it left me undone.  And so now I'm shaking that denial out of my life and on a quest for living in truth.

In the end of the song, she speaks about being ready to suffer and ready to hope - it seems that denial for me prevented both my ability accept the pain and trauma of my past, while at the same time numbing my joy and happiness in the present.  I really love this conclusion to the song.  And in the end, the reality that she was looking for heaven and as she got closer on that search the light revealed to her the truth of the broken nature of both herself and the lover - or for me - my own deep brokenness and the evil nature of denial.  

What songs have resonated with your life story?

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How Real is Too Real for Blogging?

One of my favorite lovelies that I met through blogging started a new link up recently and I decided today was the day to take the plunge and join her.

Change can be a scary thing - even when it is desperately needed.  It takes a lot of energy to make positive lasting changes.  It takes a lot of courage to admit that you are unsatisfied with where you've ended up in life.  And don't forget the humility that is needed when you have to face the music that your own choices have led you to where you are (most of the time).

After just over a year of blogging, I have been stretched in ways I never imagined I would be.  In typical progressive fashion I've moved from being a newbie "Hello World, it's me Courtney" blogger to a overzealous socialite - "linky party every day please!" - to a "please follow me (you could win this special prize)" blogger, and then finally to the awkward - holy cow batman I'm in burnout mode and my family is ready to give me a blogging ultimatum, just to eventually end up here in this place.

What is this place?  The place where I am ready to change it up in a dramatic, terrifying and bold way!  The change I'm ready to make in my life is being really real - I mean not the kind of real that says "hey I was fake before" but the kind that says you know, "I have a purpose in this community for something and I'm going to walk into that purpose regardless of the followers I'll have six months from now" - because it is authentically my voice, and I've found it.

I have a story to tell and I'm going to start telling it.  Originally I thought it would be too difficult - too dark for me to share my story on this blog - because I long desperately to share nothing but happiness - like a Hollywood ending I want to re-write my story so that it is all sunshine and roses.  But this isn't Hollywood,  this is the place I have been given to share my testimony boldly - because someone out there needs to hear my story.  Because someone out there shares my story - and they need to know they are not alone.

I was recently inspired by the tweets happening about the Influence conference.  The thing that was really amazing is that, as much as I longed to have been there, I felt God's stirring in my heart the whole time the conference was going on, pushing me to start using my voice for Him.  I heard Him urging me to be courageous and not afraid of sharing my journey with you.  And honestly, I can't think of anything more freeing than just opening up and beginning to tell you, without being so vague, what I've been through - and how God has been my strength despite very challenging circumstances.

Some of what I am going to share going forward is going to be extremely difficult for me to open up about, not just because of how it has effected my life, but because I have protected the people who have hurt me by a very detrimental form of denial - a denial that has been broken down completely over the last couple of years, in a process that has shaken me to my very core.  I will always always speak with humility, love and compassion for those who have hurt me - but I will not deny the truth of the pain they have caused.  Nor will I deny the truth of the pain I have caused others in my own brokenness.

Don't think for one minute that my blog will all of the sudden be a dark and dreary place, because that wouldn't be accurate of my life either.  It will just be a more vulnerable place - one that shares the good as well as the bad - but hopefully never leaves you discouraged.  It will be a safe place to talk about pain and engage in meaningful community in regards to some of the darkness that plagues our world today, but it will still be a place of celebration of the things I love as well.

What is the change I want to see?  What is the life I want to live?  Who is the person I want to be?

I want to live immersed in the freedom and love of a flourishing relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and no longer frozen in the pain of my past.  I want my life to be abounding in supernatural grace and love - to be a person who has joy in the midst of sorrow, who can stand firm on the rock and not be beaten and battered by the storms of life.  I want more of Him and less of me.

I want to laugh and smile and dance again - releasing the weight of my worries and heartaches to the one who has already come to set me free.  I want to encourage others who have experienced painful childhood wounds by walking through the healing process openly.

This Post Sponsored By:

Hand Made Twitter Handle Necklace + Giveaway by Lauren Nicole Gifts

Hey lovelies! I have a special treat for you today!  Check out this gorgeous hand-stamped sterling silver necklace created by Lauren Nicole Gifts!

Lauren Nicole Gifts is a great place to find gorgeous hand-stamped jewelry and other unique and personalized gifts.

Lauren Nicole Gifts specializes in custom, hand stamped, and monogrammed jewelry that is hand made just for you. Our original line of jewelry includes baby footprint and hand print necklaces, child's signature and artwork necklaces, and mommy jewelry. We have a unique collection of monogrammed, initial, and wax seal jewelry.

Check out a few of my favorite items from the shop below:

1.  Wedding Charm Necklaces - a beautiful way to celebrate that special day!
 2. Mommy Necklaces - a perfect Mother's day gift!

3.  Handprint Cuff-links for Dad - use your child's actual hand prints!
4. Children's Artwork Jewelry - made with your child's original artwork!

I was so excited to get my very own twitter handle necklace in the mail, especially after seeing a few at BlogHer in August.  It arrived in a cute little box and included a bonus Jewelry cleaning cloth.

I really couldn't wait to put it on after it arrived.  I love the chain, it's honestly the perfect length for me. It has a delicate, high quality, look and feel to it.

Hand Stamped Sterling Silver Twitter Handle Necklace - The solid sterling silver pendant measures 3/4" to 1.25" long depending on the length of the name. The pendant can be hand stamped with up to 16 characters (punctuation, dots and spaces count as characters). The charm comes on a sterling silver chain with a freshwater pearl charm (the pearl can be upgraded to a gemstone - gemstones may vary in shape depending on what we have in stock).

So what do you think!?  Do you want one too?  Here's your chance!  One of you are going to win a $75 Credit to Lauren Nicole Gifts!! (You can use it on your own Twitter Handle necklace - or anything else you love from the shop!)
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Check out Lauren Nicole Gifts // Twitter // Facebook

I received a complimentary necklace from Lauren Nicole Gifts to review via ThetaMom, as always all opinions expressed in this review are my own.

Fridays Letters

I really love Friday's letters posts - so even though I don't do them regularly, I always love the chance to participate!  So here goes!

Dearest Husband - even though marriage is no piece of cake - it is worth every single moment of time, energy, stress, joy - to be married to YOU.  I can't even begin to tell you in words what you mean to me.  I just know that God specifically planned for us to be together - and I'm in awe of how many times he has confirmed that in some small detail that only I could appreciate.  This week you really encouraged me and challenged me in a way that I pushed me to be a better person, and I am incredibly grateful.  I love you.

Dear Darling Daughter - last week you surprised me by grabbing my hand in the car, unexpectedly and telling me that I was your best friend.  I could cry just thinking of the times where I have been so terrified that I have failed you in some way.  If you could only know how important it is to me to be the mother you need in your life - to be there for you and love on you, and how that simple statement made me feel.  You are such a joy in my life - I'm working hard to heal the pain in my heart so I can be fully present in your life - always, thank you for showing me God's grace and love.

Dear Gluten -  I gave you up for a while - and you know what - I've realized how bad you are for me. I mean, you literally make me sick.  Now, I may have relapsed on you in the past 24 hours but I've decided you aren't worth it.  I thought I loved bread.  But I love not feeling bloated more.  And I love that I'm not fighting acne as much and that I feel better over all since eliminating you.  So, I'm breaking up with you for good.  No on-again, off-again.  You just aren't good for me.  It's definitely you, not me.

Dear Costume party -  What the heck am I going to wear to you!? I'm not in my 20's anymore so you can bet I'm not comfortable buying one of those ridiculously immodest costumes that that seem to be the majority of what is offered now-a-days.  I was thinking maybe a Gold-Digger?  But maybe a Greek Goddess?  Maybe Athena - you know, I am a wise old maid.  ;)

Dear Trader Joes Pumpkin [Anything] -  Damn you are so good!  I mean I just want to make a special trip to restock my cupboard with you - especially Pumpkin Spice Chai Latte mix - oh my goodness!!

Dear Starbucks -  I love you - you have been faithful to me out here in this city of Coffee-water, but I cheated on you today and it felt, amazing.  There is a local place in my hood called Cafe Bunni - and wow - their Salted Caramel Mocha put yours to shame - not to mention how the foam heart design carefully crafted by their barista won me over.  I'm concerned for you.  But don't be too threatened, I mean, you are still winning by location.

Dear Carpal Tunnel -  Thank you for calming down.  Your rage was really difficult to deal with, and now that you have calmed a bit, I'm able to once again enjoy all of life.  Now, can you pretty please stay calm going forward?

Dear Politics -  I really do want to care about you, but I have lost all faith in your ability to mean anything.  I mean it doesn't matter who wins - the other party will just screw all your efforts while you are in office, and inevitably you will accomplish nothing you have promised.  Until both parties can learn to work together and stop being so hatefully divided things are just going to be ugly and pointless.  Its sad what you have become - and worthy of ridicule.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

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Glade Expressions #IGotItFree

Have you guys tried any of the new Glad Expressions products?  Last month I participated in a BzzAgent campaign and had the chance to check out the Fragrance Mist and Oil Diffuser for FREE!

I just wanted to share a couple things here with you - first - have you signed up to be a BzzAgent yet?  Go do it! Its really fun (and FREE) to try new products that are catered to your interests!

And second - next time you are in the market for delicious scented products to make your home inviting - give these a try.  There were three scents available and my preference is the tropical smell of Pineapple Mangosteen, but maybe you'd like the others!

I wasn't totally won over by the oil diffuser - though the look of it is great - the scent wasn't strong enough for a lasting impact - but the fragrance mist is great!

I'm not getting paid to endorse this - just sharing my experience!

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Winners! 1st Blog Anniversary Giveaway

Guys!  I'm still super overwhelmed by the awesome amount of entrants to my first blog anniversary party.  And so many of you are in qualification of free ad space - in fact I have over 35 free ad spaces to give out - which I'm working hard to get processed before the end of the month!

Here are the winners of the regular prizes - 

all prizes have been claimed and distributed!

Would you guys mind taking a minute to boost my rank over at Top Baby Blogs?  We'd be so grateful!  Just click this link here, then the owl on the left! Thank you so much!!

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A Heart Gone Wandering...

This past month has been challenging - and whereas the past several months have been no piece of cake, each new month seems to stack up the challenges upon each other leaving me stretched thin and weary.

I have been open about my faith as a Christian here on my blog, but I haven't been open about the challenges of keeping that faith.  In the past year of my life, everything that I have so passionately believed in has been questioned and put under the greatest battle of soul and spirit that I can describe.

My relationship with God has been at times marred by anger and resentment, at other times pushed so far away that only a God who is omnipresent and fiercely willing could break through the icy walls I've  built up.  In my spirit - I believe with everything - in the God of all creation - in his perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ, for the redemption of all humanity.  But in my soul I experience violent opposition to trusting Him with my life.

I'm about to get very real with you - so brace yourself - I recently had a major life breakthrough - one that was critical - one that was orchestrated beautifully by the hand of God.  I woke up from a denial about things I experienced as a child at the hands of the two human beings entrusted with my care.

For over 20 years of my life I coped with life by creating a fantasy in my mind - a disillusioned perspective on the world - one that minimized pain, fear, anxiety and reality.  One that minimized real evil in the world.  You see, real evil didn't exist in my reality - it couldn't.  And so it was easy to see God in his perfect goodness and not question or doubt Him.

Its not that I didn't believe in evil - but I believed in it the same way as I believe in monsters in scary movies.  It freaks me out, I push it to the side believing it couldn't possibly be like that in real life.

But, now I know that real evil exists.  Because I was the recipient of real evil.  And that evil has had its mangy filthy claws in my flesh for the past two and a half decades.  And it is that evil that I am battling daily - that I am fighting for dear life to escape from.

My daily battle is one of learning to live in reality - no longer minimizing the hurtful things I have experienced, no longer protecting the people who were supposed to have loved me.  Instead I am allowing the unprocessed pain to wash over me, tidal wave by tidal wave.

Hoping that as I surrender to reality, I will find the continued strength to choose to believe rather than doubt in God's love for me.

Hoping I can believe in the goodness of God as much as I now believe in real evil in this world.

Hoping that one day this storm will pass and I will again be able to see the sun shining above me.

Hoping that one day there will be no more buried pain - just the freedom of being healed by God's great love, so that I can encourage those who have been or will be just waking up from their own fantasy.

This blog has always been a place for me to share my life - and to write from my heart - I haven't been able to do that lately as much as I'd like to, but hopefully you will understand how heavy my heart has been, and know I am still here and still care for each and every one of you!

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Celebrate Diversity Divine Baby Luxury Baby Quilts

Hey lovelies! I'm taking a short break from the regular Monday, "Pinning" party to give my hands and wrists some healing time.  In the mean time, I'm back with a vlog to share with you about Divine Baby luxury baby quilts.  I had the privilege of reviewing one of these gorgeous heirloom quality blankets with my daughter Zion, and I think that you would really love them.

Divine Baby luxury baby quilts are a great way to celebrate your child's heritage.  The blankets are heirloom quality, made of 250 thread count cotton and stitched beautifully!  They currently come in four different styles, featuring vibrant colors and designs.

The Divine Baby Story: 

"Divine Baby is a unique line of baby products that celebrates the beauty of cultural diversity through timeless, heirloom-quality keepsakes. We know how precious your children are to you, and we believe that all babies benefit from nurturing moments shared with those who love them. Our gorgeously illustrated board books, ultra-luxurious baby blankets and other products are meant for families to share and to pass down through the generations."

How do you celebrate your family heritage with your child?  Which divine baby blanket is your favorite!?

We received complimentary product from Divine Baby for this review, as always all opinions expressed in this review are my own.